Things seem to be on an eternal cycle for me, I solve a family issue, then another arises, I help a friend, and they have another issue that hurts them,i get on good terms with my mother, and she yells at me for doing nothing around the house.Seems all i do around everyone justv tends to drag them down,and honestly all i see is i'm burdening others.
I don't know, i just feel sometimes my place in this life is questionable, i feel as if sometimes i shouldn't exist.I'm not trying to be emo on all of this i just don't know whats right from wrong anymore.I hate this drama i do, but Deviantart is a place wher ei can vent out and relax, have people that actually make me feel important in my life here.
Don't mean to ruin peoples good day's and happiness here when they view this, i just don't know who else to vent this out too,If i go to my mom she'll just snap at me for this saying " your 19 the only one that can do anything about it is yourself",if i go to other family they'd mock me for it,and i don't want to burden my friends too much about this.Not when they have college, and jobs but damn it if i don't try my best!
I'm sorry for all of this i just had to write this out, i'll be fine just in a very dark place at the moment.
Thanks for reading if you stuck with me this long, i promise i won't do anything drastic i just question my reality here sometimes.